Save Me
by Megan Lovato
Summary: Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato
1. Chapter 1

"I don't care, I'm not eating it!" Demi screamed at her best friend. Selena winced at the sound of Demi's fragile and raspy voice. She knew Demi hadn't eaten a full meal in well over two days and what she did eat, she didn't keep down for long. Being as stubborn as they were, neither friend would let the other have a moment's rest until each had their way. Their arguments usually ended in compromise, Selena promising to spend more time with Demi as long as Demi kept her food down. Desperate to skip just one more meal, Demi lowered her tone and pleaded with Selena.

"Come on, Sel. I'll eat later. Can't we just forget dinner for one night? I wanna watch a movie or something. Puh-lease?" Selena would have none of it.

"Demetria Devonne, you know I hate doing this but you have to eat. I'm walking downstairs right now and telling your mom what's up if you don't eat the food she cooked for you. I'm not playing around with this anymore Demi, eat your food." The two girls were sat face to face on Demi's full size bed in her room, Selena watching Demi push her food around her plate, refusing to take a single bite. They were both sixteen and too young for even Demi, much less Selena to understand why eating was so hard for the young girl. Demi's head lowered in defeat. She picked up her fork, stabbed at a macaroni noodle and lifted it up to her mouth. She paused before suddenly dropping the fork and burying her face in her hands. Selena's face softened when she saw a tear slip through Demi's fingers.

"I can't, Selena. I can't do this anymore. I don't know what to do," Demi sobbed. The broken girl lost it and fell into Selena's arms. Selena ineffectively tried to hold back tears of her own as she comforted her best friend of seven years.

"I'm sorry Dems," Selena tried. "I'm so sorry." Selena looked up for some sort of answer as to how she could help Demi and silently prayed to God that she would get that answer soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Demi woke up before Selena, as she usually did when they had sleepovers, and continued the tradition of obnoxiously jumping on the bed until Selena agreed to get up in five minutes if Demi "shut up and calm down." In truth, Demi liked watching Selena sleep. It was one of the few times she got to see Selena's face free of concern. Selena worried a lot, mostly about Demi and her eating habits. She was constantly thinking about her best friend, always hoping a miracle would ease the pain of her eating disorder. But without the help of Demi's parents, it seemed near impossible to help her. Demi had no clue that Selena was suffering from this eating disorder almost as much as she was.

"Alright. I'm up. What's on the agenda for today?" Selena sleepily spoke for the first time that morning.

"Well…I was thinking we could hit up the mall!" Demi's face lit up at the thought.

"Sounds good to me, Demsters."

Demi drove and Selena picked out the CD they would listen to on the way, as usual. "Turn it up, this is my jam!" Demi laughed and threw her free arm in the air. Selena just watched in amazement. She was always amazed by Demi. How could a girl so broken hide so much pain behind such a beautiful smile? Selena put her all into trying to fix this girl. And yet, she couldn't get enough of her. Demi was everything to her. If she didn't know any better, she could swear Demi brought the sun to life every morning with her smile. Selena loved everything about that girl. The way she flipped her hair when she sang and how she said her own name. She loved the freckles that danced across her face in the sunlight and the way her eyes shone brighter than the stars when she talked about music. She loved how her angelic voice seemed to float through her ears and continued to do so even in silence.

Selena was fully enthralled by Demi's being, so much that she couldn't take her eyes off of her, even when they reached the mall. "Why are you looking at me that way?" Demi genuinely asked. She frequently caught Selena staring at her with eyes aglow and she knew. She wasn't exactly sure what she knew, but she knew because she often caught herself staring at Selena the same way. She understood. So she wasn't sure why she questioned Selena this time. She also wasn't sure why she unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned closer to Selena. And Selena wasn't sure why she grew nervous as Demi grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. But she let her.

Selena's heart was pounding but she had never felt more comfortable in her life. Selena silently pleaded for Demi to move closer and as though she read her mind, Demi climbed into the passenger seat with Selena. Taking in Selena's beauty, Demi brought her hand up to Selena's face and held her cheek. Every touch of every fingertip was like fire to Selena and she wanted more. Closing the space between them, Demi brought their lips together. Selena could swear time had stopped just for this one moment to take place. Was she dreaming? This couldn't be real. Her heart knocked against her chest, begging to be released to become one with Demi's own heart. The kiss was passionate; everything Selena had ever hoped it to be. And God, did she hope. Every sleepover, every hug, every time they would innocently hold hands the way best friends do, Selena hoped it meant something more to Demi as it did to her. Demi pulled away from the kiss and Selena reluctantly did the same. "I love you, Selena," the girl in Selena's lap whispered. She could see tears forming in Demi's eyes.

"Demi, I…"

"No, you need to hear this," Demi interrupted. "I love you the way you love me and I know how you love me because you look at me the way I look at you all the time. I don't deserve you, Sel, but you put up with me anyway and I love you for that. I love you for making me breakfast in the morning and calling me stupid when I don't eat it because you know I'm stubborn and I need to hear it. I love how you hold me at night when I've had a rough day and I love how even when I don't tell you what's wrong, you just know. You are more than everything to me, and I pray every night that somehow, I'm enough for you. I want you to know that I need you in my life more than I've ever needed anything else and I love you so much. More than you'll ever know."

Selena looked at the girl with tears in her eyes and was speechless. They had been best friends for years and knew each other like the ocean knows the waves. Selena knew how much Demi loved her and Demi, the same. They moved and spoke, laughed and cried as one. They knew each other's strengths and built one another up on them. Each knew the other's weaknesses but never took advantage of them. They would fall for each other a million times over every day. They had grown up with each other; they knew nothing but their friendship. It was as if God knew they could not live without each other before they even began to live and placed them so their paths would inevitably cross. They were made for each other, as cliché as it sounded and it seemed nothing could come between them. And now it was real. The kiss made their love so real, so true. Selena wanted nothing more than to be in Demi's arms and tell her how much she loved that broken girl.

Selena simply crashed into Demi's lips with her own in response. Demi's lips were velvet. They moved smoothly in time with Selena's. She hooked her arms around Demi's neck and pushed herself closer to Demi's body. Every inch of Selena longed to be attached to Demi. Their second kiss grew in passion and the two girls were soon out of breath but not wanting to stop for air. Selena finally released her hold on Demi and looked into her eyes. "I love you too, dork." Demi smiled that goofy grin that Selena would never get used to and fell into the driver's seat.

"Well what do we do now?" Demi questioned, hoping Selena would opt for another kiss.

"I say we actually do what we planned to do. Let's go inside, I'm starving."

"Fine, but if I'm buying you food, you owe me," Demi smirked.

"We'll see," Selena said slyly and opened her door. Demi smiled in satisfaction and hurried to follow Selena. She would follow that girl anywhere.


	3. Chapter 3

Not much changed after their first kiss. Demi continued to make Selena laugh at all the ridiculous things she said and Selena still called her a dork. They had always cuddled when watching movies on the couch and they had always held hands when they were walking down the street and they continued to do so after the kiss. They still rarely slept at night when they were together. Only now, they weren't just talking. They spent many hours learning each other's body. The time spent away from one another was the hardest.

Selena was at her house and Demi at her own. Selena was helping her mom with a spaghetti dinner when her phone rang and she saw Demi's familiar name flash across the screen. "Whaddup dawg?" Selena answered, continuing to stir the noodles.

"Please come over. I-I need you here…now. Please, Sel," Demi stuttered, her voice urgent and frightened.

"I'm on my way," Selena replied without hesitation. She didn't even bother asking what was wrong. She knew that voice. Demi needed her and there was no way she wasn't going to be there for her best friend. She wasn't sure what was wrong but she knew it couldn't be good. There was a deep depression in Demi's voice and Selena rarely heard it, but she knew it well. It took Selena five minutes to complete a ten minute drive to Demi's house.

Walking through the front door without knocking, Selena remembered that Demi was home alone, her parents out on a dinner date. She sprinted up the stairs, two at a time to Demi's room. She didn't hesitate to fling open Demi's bedroom door, expecting the worst. She scanned an empty bedroom and decided to check the bathroom.

"Dems?" Selena called out as she slowly opened the door. Nothing could have ever prepared Selena for the heartbreak that came when she saw Demi lying on the frigid tile of the bathroom floor.

"Demi! No! No, no, no, no!" Selena screamed in horror. Frozen, Selena stared in shock for a brief moment and registered what it all meant. A small river of blood coming from Demi's wrists had flown through the cracks in the tile. What looked like the blade from a shaving razor rested in Demi's open palm, glistening in the stale glow of the bathroom light. Selena dropped to her knees and scrambled over to her best friend. She held Demi's wrists and squeezed them tight, paying no attention to the blood that covered her hands. She picked up Demi and held her in her arms, rocking her back and forth. With bitter tears running down her face, Selena cried out in anger.

"Please! God, please! Why? She doesn't fucking deserve this! She doesn't deserve it! She doesn't deserve it…" Selena repeated into the barren air. She didn't understand at all. Nothing was making sense. But she didn't have time to figure everything out yet. She blindly fumbled around until she found her phone and called an ambulance and then Demi's parents. Demi's breaths were sharp and weak; Selena knew she needed help to arrive soon. She stayed propped up with Demi against the bathroom wall in a puddle of blood until the paramedics finally burst into the room and pried Selena's hands off of Demi's wrists.


	4. Chapter 4

Demi woke up in the hospital, three pairs of eyes fixed on her. She looked first at Maddie, her younger half-sister, whose eyes were full of confusion and questions. She then turned to her older sister, Dallas, eyes full of anger and bitterness. Then Demi's vision trained on Selena. Her eyes were full of worry and apology. She looked tired and worn down, as if she hadn't slept in days. She was wringing her hands, not moving her eyes from Demi's position in the hospital bed. Not a word was said for what seemed like hours to Demi until she finally broke the silence. "I'm sorry," Demi whispered, looking down at her skinny hands. Selena's vision blurred and her throat stung as she tried to hold back tears. She stood up and walked to Demi cautiously, as if one wrong move could break the young girl.

"I forgive you, it's okay," Selena sighed. "You don't have to tell us anything right now, babe…"

"Like hell she doesn't!" Dallas exploded and rose from her seat. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Demetria! What were you thinking? Did you realize what you were even doing? Why would you even think to do something so stupid?" Demi tried to find the right words.

"I didn't mean to…I wasn't trying to…"

"Dallas, she isn't in the most stable state right now. We probably shouldn't be yelling at her. We need to think of what's best for Demi right now," Selena interrupted.

"Sure, let's make it about her. It's all about her. What would've happened if you had found her dead? Who would it have been about then?" Selena's face turned pale at the thought. "Who would have to handle that? We would have to go through her room, we would have to plan her funeral. I would have to watch them put my baby sister in the ground!" Dallas broke down and fell into her little sister.

"I'm sorry, Dallas. I never meant for it to get this bad. I didn't want you guys to find out this way," Demi said slowly. Selena's head snapped up.

"How long has this been going on, Demi?" Selena asked, dark clouds forming in her eyes.

"Um…about…five years," Demi braced herself. Selena squeezed her eyes shut, slid down the smooth wall behind her and collapsed onto the floor. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to say. How could she have been so blind? Her best friend was struggling with not only an eating disorder, but cutting as well and Selena wasn't there for her. How could she have been so ignorant?

"Selena?" Demi called her name with great concern in her voice.

"I have to go, Demi. I'll come back to check on you later, I promise. I just-I need…air," Selena rushed out. She stood up quickly, feeling light-headed and nauseous as she stepped out of the room.

"Wait, Selena!" Demi tried to stop Selena but it was too late. Selena already blamed herself for everything, the way she always did.


	5. Chapter 5

Selena spent the remaining days of Demi's stay in the hospital by her best friend's side. She made some of her favorite foods and brought it to Demi when she was strong enough to start eating again. When given the choice to put Demi in a treatment facility, her parents decided against it, considering the fact that she hadn't actually tried to kill herself. When it was time to go home, Demi's parents decided to let Selena drive her home.

"Are you ready to talk? You don't have to tell me anything yet if you don't want to," Selena was careful not to be too insensitive. She didn't want to come right out and ask Demi why she hadn't told her anything about the dark issue, but her heart was truly shattered at the thought of her best friend being in so much pain for so long without any help.

"I really am sorry, Sel. I-I thought I could keep it hidden. I thought it would be best if I didn't make you worry any more than you already did about me with my eating," Demi replied.

"Demi…" Selena started. She didn't really know what to say. She didn't understand. So she figured she would just hear Demi out. "Why? What does it do for you?"

"I didn't even really understand it the first time I did it. At first, it was almost like I was just experimenting; trying to see if it really made me feel better the way it did for all those other girls I had heard about on TV and in magazines and at school," Demi's eyes darted around the car. "But after a few times, the feeling of relief I got from it pretty much became an addiction, and I couldn't stop. So I just hid it. I guess I just went too far last week and I'm really sorry. I never meant to put you through this."

Selena kept her eyes fixed on the road. The rest of the drive was silent, save instigated small talk on Selena's part to keep her out of her head. When they arrived at Demi's house, the girl with the bandaged wrists jumped out of the car and quickly walked over to Selena and grabbed her hand. She pulled her inside, told her mom that she and Selena had some things to talk about and practically dragged Selena up the stairs. Once they reached Demi's room, she slammed the door shut behind them. "Demi, what are you…" Selena barely had time to get four words out before Demi shoved her into the wall.

Demi eagerly kissed her, pushing her lips onto Selena's so hard that it was almost painful for the girl against the wall. Selena was blind-sighted but she didn't care. Never detaching her lips from Demi's, Selena guided her to the bed and pushed her onto the sheets. Demi cringed as Selena pinned her down by her wrists, forgetting about her cuts in the heat of the moment. Selena quickly realized what she had done and picked up one of Demi's arms. "I love you, Dems. This," Selena said, gesturing to Demi's bandages, "does not define you. This does not change the way I feel about you and this definitely does not mean I won't be here for you. I'll be right here by your side forever. You're going to be sick of me before long." Selena giggled and pecked Demi on the lips.

"Thank you, Sel. I know this hasn't been easy. I'm like super crazy and I get that and I know it's probably not the most fun thing being friends with me but I swear I'm going to make everything up to you. You'll see. I pinky swear," Demi stated, holding out her smallest finger. The two locked fingers and then intertwined the rest of them. Before leaning into another kiss, Demi yelled something to her mother about Selena and herself needing sleep and turned off the light, knowing both girls had every intention to do the exact opposite.


	6. Chapter 6

The two girls were seventeen now and they were tired. Not the kind of tired that you feel when you've stayed up much too late studying for an exam or talking on the phone. It was the kind of tired you feel when you've put your heart through too much and you're ready to give up. It was exhaustion. Demi and Selena were at their wits ends, the latter putting up with Demi's problems every day and Demi not being able to control her actions. There were mostly bad days when Demi had had enough of herself and wanted to end it all. There were days when she couldn't even get out of bed, when she refused to eat anything. The nights were just the same, if not worse. Demi had made it a habit to go out and party any chance she got. When she wasn't partying, she was hurting herself. She felt like a prisoner in her own mind and Selena had no idea how to get her out. But she still tried. Every day, she tried.

Then there were good days. Selena would lay in Demi's arms, simply listening to the sweet pitter-patter of her best friend's heart. That sound was almost a sort of reassurance to Selena. It reminded her that Demi was still alive; that she wasn't a lost cause. The thing Selena had trouble with was keeping quiet about Demi's problems. She was the only one who knew of the pain Demi felt and the addictions she was struggling from. She wanted so badly to tell her parents or Demi's parents and get help for the young girl, but she feared losing her best friend. So she stayed quiet.

"Selena, you're so beautiful," Demi whispered with such sincerity into Selena's ear. This was a good day. The two girls were lying on the couch, partially watching old I Love Lucy reruns, mostly watching each other. Demi never had any self-worth, but Selena sure as hell had worth to her. She couldn't ever call herself beautiful but she made it a point to, whenever she had the chance, tell Selena how beautiful she found her. Not only was it the truth, but Demi almost felt like she owed Selena. She never thought of herself deserving of anything, so she felt guilty when Selena would spend her time helping her.

"You're beautiful-er," Selena offered. She knew Demi hated when she called her beautiful because she felt it was simply a lie. But she did it anyway.

"Shut up, dork," Demi replied, her grin fading into a slight smirk.

"I'm serious, Dems, you're gorgeous."

"Alright," Demi replied coldly, standing up. Selena's eyes followed her to the kitchen, sadness clouding them. She always felt a physical pain in her chest when she knew Demi was hurting. Demi had always had self-esteem issues, but they seemed to sky-rocket after her recent relationship and Selena was bitter because of it. She could remember that night two months ago as if it had just taken place.

Demi had burst into Selena's room, a blank look on her face. "What's wrong, Dem?" Selena questioned, not completely sure what she should do.

"You were right about him, Sel," Demi slipped out, tears welling up in her eyes. Selena immediately understood. She stood up from her position on her bed and made a beeline for her closet.

"What are you doing?" Demi asked, confused.

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." Demi let out a sad chuckle and grabbed Selena's arm.

"No. No, it's alright, Sel. I mean, I'm fine. I just…I don't know. You knew he was doing something behind my back and I didn't listen and I gave him everything and…" Demi's voice trailed off when her throat began to burn with the sting of restrained tears. Selena knew exactly what she meant by "everything" and it pained her to know it. Selena just embraced her best friend and let her cry into her shoulder.

"We're gonna be okay, doll. We're gonna be alright," Selena reassured the broken girl.

Selena shook the memory and sped into the kitchen where Demi stood, staring at the ground. She spun Demi around and kissed her, placing her hands on her waist and pulling her in closer. When she pulled back, she looked Demi in the eyes. "I love you so much, Demi," she said confidently. "And there is not a damn thing that anyone could have ever done to you in your past to ever change how I felt about you back when I asked you to sit on my jacket and color with me the first time I saw you, or how I feel about you now, when I look at you and see pain in your eyes. You are all I want, Demi, and I swear to God, I will never, ever hurt you or leave you or think you are anything but the most beautiful person to ever walk this earth. All I ask is that you just trust me." Demi's eyes filled with emotion and her heart broke for the girl in front of her.

"I wish it was that easy, Sel. I really wish it was."


	7. Chapter 7

"I can't do this with you anymore, Demi!" This is killing me! I try and I try and I just can't…" Selena's voice trailed off, leaving a hollow echo to bounce off the walls until it faded into nothing.

The two girls had been screaming at each other for the past twenty minutes, arguing about what Selena had just walked into that morning.

She had called Demi the night before, knowing she had gone to a party after a bad day. She called three times without luck. Praying for the best because her mom would never let her go check on Demi so late at night, Selena went to bed early.

Selena woke up around seven o'clock and immediately thought of Demi. She gave no thought to her appearance and simply slipped on her shoes and grabbed her keys. Calling Demi on the way there and still getting no answer, Selena began to worry.

When she arrived at Demi's, Selena saw that her car was parked in the driveway and breathed a sigh of relief. Her parents were out of town once again, so Selena decided to go inside, just in case. She let herself in with the key that was hidden in the garage and made her way to her best friend's room. When she walked in, her voice caught in her throat.

Demi laid in her bed, completely naked, a stranger lying face down next to her, equally without clothes. There were plastic cups on her nightstand, half full of a liquid that had a bitter odor which filled the entire room.

"How could you?" Selena questioned loudly, making Demi jump and nearly fall off the bed. The stranger next to her woke up and scrambled to put his clothes on, thinking Selena was in a position of authority to Demi. He ran out without a word, leaving Demi to defend herself alone. She stood up uncertainly, obviously still quite tipsy from the night before.

"Selena," Demi chuckled. "It's not what it looks like." Demi tried to make it look like she didn't care, but in all honesty, she was trying to fix things before they fell apart. But fall apart, they did. And now, here they were, tears streaming down Selena's face. Demi stood weakly in front of Selena, wearing nothing but a blanket and a smirk, as if it were all a sick joke. She was still drunk and not entirely grasping the seriousness of the situation. But even when Demi was sober, Selena didn't recognize her anymore. Demi was cruel, almost evil to Selena. She knew her weaknesses and used them to tear Selena down, piece by piece. Demi was the reason why she cried herself to sleep nightly. It was easier to lie to Selena than to herself. She told Selena that everything was her fault; that she didn't love her and she never had. But still, if Selena said goodbye, Demi would beg for her to come back and apologize for the things she said. Of course, Selena always forgave her.

This time, things had gone too far and Demi showed no remorse. In fact, Demi's smirk suggested the complete opposite. Selena swore her pain brought Demi absolute joy at this point.

"It's killing you? Oh please, you love this," Demi taunted Selena, picking up a cup from her nightstand and taking a drink. "You love the fact that I've fucked half the neighborhood. It just makes our alone time even hotter." Selena felt sick to her stomach. She didn't know this Demi, not at all.

"Demi, stop."

"Come on, Sel. Let's do it right here," Demi laughed mockingly, putting her hands on Selena's sides.

"Demi-" Selena was cut off by Demi's insistent kiss, rough and emotionless. Her breath was foul with the smell of alcohol. Selena pushed off of her and slapped her across the cheek. Demi regained her smirk in reaction.

"Who are you? This is not the Demi I know, this is not the girl I fell in love with. This isn't you! The old Demi; the real Demi would never act like this! Do you realize what you've become?" Selena was bawling and Demi's smirk was gone. "You are exactly what you said you'd never be. You've forgotten about me. And it hurts, Demi. I can't do this anymore. I wish I could, but I can't. I'm sorry, Dems. I still love you and I always will, but this is it. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself, Demi." Selena took a deep breath, turned and walked away. Demi just stood there, watching. Speechless. Helpless.


End file.
